Drunken Brawl Excites Morons

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News For Morons

Let me start with some background for people who have never visited Britain: we drink. A lot. And unlike our continental neighbours, who drink moderately most days of the week, we like to binge. This makes for busy times for the police and hospitals at weekends. In fact, if you’re an aspiring war reporter looking for experience, just head for any British town or city on a Friday night. But be careful out there.

Usually, this attracts little attention in the media. After all, it happens all the time, everywhere. But one particular brawl has excited the moronic end of the press, along with morons throughout the Twitterverse: a brawl that took place in the city of Leicester.

What Happened

A group of Somali women attacked a white woman; they claimed they were responding to racial abuse. The incident was captured on CCTV and the women were arrested, charged, found guilty and handed down a suspended sentence and curfew (for the worst offender) and community service for the rest.

Then The Media Got Wind Of It

Drunken brawls happen in every British city, every weekend. The unusual aspect of this was that it involved Somalis: almost all alcohol-related disorder usually involves white British people.

Being Somali, the women are also Muslim – although clearly are not practising Muslims. This helps expose the nonsensical far-right accusation that “Muslims refuse to integrate”. I personally know Muslims who drink and mix freely in British society; the EDL, BNP and other Muslim-baiting morons would have you believe that all British Muslim women wear burqas and “hate our way of life”. It seems that these young women actually like our “way of life” – perhaps a little bit too much.

The right-wing press, of course, sniffed a chance for Muslim-baiting. Rather than celebrate how well adapted these women had become to the British lifestyle, they ran headlines such as The Telegraph’s: Muslim women not used to drinking walk free after attack on woman. The only other papers to carry the story, with the same anti-Muslim spin, were the ultra-right-wing Daily Mail and Murdoch’s Sun. All three papers have great racist form. Oh, and StormFront, a Nazi site, also carried the story.

All three papers managed to mention the women’s religion in their headlines. Strangely, I’ve never seen a headline about Christian drinking violence, although this happens pretty much every day. The “walk free” part of the headline was used to imply that they were let off. This was misleading – as I’ve mentioned, they were found guilty and received similar penalties that anyone else would have done in the same circumstances.

And Then Twitter

The far-right BNP, EDL and their moronic online supporters wasted no time in spreading the story, twisting it more with each telling. What began yesterday as a regular Friday night incident for Leicester police, with a racial twist, is now evidence of a Jihad.

This is a perfect example of the race-hate machine in action: from the seed of any story comes another excuse to stoke up race hate among morons. The fact that around 99% of drunken, violent attacks in the UK are made by white people is irrelevant to them; they only need these isolated incidents to fire up their moronic followers into a frenzy of mouth-frothing hatred.

Happy St George’s Day!

Happy St. George’s Day! Today is the day when the English celebrate their patron saint, party and have fun.

Ha! Only joking… this is the English we’re talking about. Rather than enjoy themselves like most nations on their national day, this is the day for doing what the English do best: moaning. The atmosphere isn’t helped by the right-wing media (notably the Mail and the Express) and far-right provocateurs from the English Defence League (EDL) and British National Party (BNP) spreading lies and disinformation. “Patriotic” bloggers will predictably complain that flag-flying has been banned by some council or other (almost always based on false stories) or just whine that English people should be flying the flag, but aren’t.

Twitter has already seen many tweets like this:

The end result is that English morons spend the day complaining they’re not allowed to fly a flag of St. George (which of course they are) or some other piece of nonsense they read in the gutter press or on Twitter.

Part of the problem is that the flag of St. George has been seized by far-right racist groups; which is ironic, given that St. George wasn’t English (he was a Roman soldier from Palestine), and that he’s the patron saint of many countries and regions besides England (including Ethiopia, Serbia and Catalonia). Most horrific of all (at least from the viewpoint of the Muslim-hating EDL) is that St. George is celebrated as a Saint in early Islamic texts. Irony – don’t you just love it?

Aside from the irritating minority of “patriots”, England has much to be proud of: our tolerance, our sense of humour; our green and pleasant landscape; even some of our unfairly-maligned food. Despite our imperial transgressions, we led the world in abolishing slavery; and most of us believe in fairness for all.

So here’s the MoronWatch guide to enjoying St. George’s Day.

Do:

  • Celebrate everything good about England.
  • Fly the flag if you want to, or wear a badge or plastic hat with the flag on. Go on, it’s fine.
  • Have fun! Another thing the English are good at (besides moaning) is drinking. So go on, fill your boots!
  • Sing Eng-er-land, Eng-er-land, Eng-er-land loudly and out of tune outside the pub.

Don’t:

  • Say “Why aren’t you flying a flag you Paki bastard?” to your Brazilian neighbour.
  • Use your flagpole to assault someone when you’re drunk.
  • And for-fuck’s-sake DON’T MOAN!

Have a nice day now!