Moron Alphabet: A-G

A is for Alinskyite

Bear with me on this, because I’m a little confused about it myself. Saul Alinsky was a left-wing American community organiser who died in 1972. He seems to have been an interesting guy, but to be totally honest, I’d never heard of him until a few months ago, when I was accused of being an Alinskyite on Twitter, and not wanting to reveal my ignorance, I Googled him. It’s said that Barack Obama, another community organiser at one point, was influenced by some of Alinsky’s organisational ideas or tactics. As far as I can tell, the Alinskyite handle was one of the many genius/insane creations of Glenn Beck (see B). As happens so often, Beck introduced his idiot viewers to a new word, and they then accused everyone on Twitter who disagreed with them of being an Alinskyite. This was a passing trend as Beck introduced new words for his fans to play with, and they quickly forgot it.

B is for Beck: Glenn Beck

The King Moron of all Moronia. Glenn Beck, a US radio and TV presenter, is undoubtedly very stupid, but he’s also smart enough to know that power and money can be gained from frightening and confusing people even dumber than himself. He gets very worked up, often to tears, about things that he completely made up. His moron viewers then unleash themselves on Twitter, spreading his contagion of fear, rage and hate. Though I’m not a Fox News viewer, I know when Beck is on TV, and what he says, by watching the explosions of Twitter-panic (Twanic?) that occur during and after his shows. Beck excels in calling people Nazis, which is ironic considering that his tactics closely mirror those used by the Nazis in persuading Germans that Jews wanted to eat their babies. Beck always has a demon-character to illustrate that the world is on the verge of catastrophe; Alinsky (See A), George Soros, and Barack HUSSEIN Obama are just some examples.

C is for Commie

General-purpose insult used to attack anyone who disagrees with a range of right-wing views. This is obviously pretty old and tired, having been thrown around since at least the 1950s, and is largely superceded by more creative terms, many invented by Glenn Beck (see B). The fear of Communism itself was stoked up in the US during the cold war, which Americans were told was ideological, whereas it was primarily a competition between two rival empires for resources and markets. It should be noted that Russia (the original “commie” target) was a pretty nasty and authoritarian place both before the rise and after the fall of communism, but it’s the communist era that most intrigues morons. So what if journalists still get assassinated? At least they were free to write what they wanted (before getting killed for it).

D is for Drugs

As every moron knows, Drugs Are Bad, M’kay? And that’s about ALL they know. Of course, banning dozens of substances, most of which are safer than alcohol or tobacco, seems moronic, but the main reason is to convince morons that it’s OK to fund expensive wars in Latin America, and also to persuade them that in free countries, it’s OK for the police to smash people’s doors in and stop them randomly in the street (you know, like in a police state, but… different). According to the Drug War Clock, the US alone has spent almost $4 billion dollars on fighting (and losing) this war this year so far (and it’s early-February). That’s big business. It’s not about the drugs… it’s about the money, morons.

E is for EDL

Or as they like to chant: E-E-E-D-L! The English Defence League is the latest in an illustrious, unbroken line of British fascists, going all the way back to Oswald Mosley’s British Union of Fascists in the 1930s. Fascism has always adapted with the times; in the 30s, Mosley targeted the evil Jew; then when that became tainted with the discovery of Hitler’s horrors, he turned his attention to black Caribbean immigrants, who (of course) were a threat to everything British. In the 1970s, the National Front picked up the far-right baton, targeting blacks and “Pakis” (meaning anyone from the Indian subcontinent). With their collapse came the rise of the British National Party, which tried a new approach of suits and “respectability”. But 9/11 changed the far-right. Before the attacks, the BNP’s main targets were Asian immigrants, regardless of their religion. After 9/11 the message stayed the same, but the target morphed from “Asians” to “Muslims”. With the failure of the BNP to secure an electoral base, the far-right split and returned to street thuggery in the form of the EDL. This claims to only be against “extreme Islam”, but that story falls apart when EDL members are watched – they seem to hate all Muslims, and are often caught complaining about immigrants in general, including Catholic Poles. Nazi salutes are often spotted at EDL marches.

The EDL would be more frightening if its supporters weren’t semi-literate and prone to racist outbursts that spoil the “we’re just defending England” message. Follow @Exposingtweets on Twitter for an exposé of these morons that will both concern you and make you laugh out loud.

F is for Fox News

The Mecca of Moronitude: American TV channel that has little to do with News (after all, to make “news” you need “journalists”) and much to do with right-wing propaganda, doom-laden predictions, victimisation of “progressives”, pro-Republican electioneering disguised as comment, and outright lunacy (see B). Fox can’t broadcast as Fox News in many countries, as regulations require that news channels carry some news, and attempt some level of balance. But in America, free speech is enforced by the constitution – sadly this being interpreted as “any idiot can say anything about anyone”. Fox is just a part of the global media empire of Bond-villain-type, Rupert Murdoch, the puppeteer for morons everywhere. Murdoch has cleverly cornered the moron market in a number of countries, especially the US (via Fox) and the UK (via the Sun newspaper) and controls well over half of all Australia’s media output. When the world ends, it’s pretty likely that Murdoch will somehow be involved. The only upsides are that 1) he’s getting pretty old now, 2) he doesn’t really seem to understand new media. Of course, Fox wouldn’t be a great problem if there weren’t millions of people who get all their opinions from it. In a sane world, watching Fox News would bar someone from ever owning a gun or having kids.

G is for Gay

“Gay” (also known as Homosexuality by scientists) is a great problem for the modern moron. Back in the day, it was possible to just hate gays and denounce their perversion, without having to think too hard. In fact, many morons still take this approach: examples being Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Iran’s moron President) and many other religious conservatives. However the Western, right-wing moron (whether religious-right or secular fascist) is presented with a dilemma. These types used to hate gays, and even attack them. But now their fear and hatred for Muslims is paramount, and one of the reasons they claim to hate Muslims is that “Muslims don’t like gays”. Apparently. They don’t let facts cloud their judgement – for example, that in the 1960s, homosexuals who were persecuted in Europe would take vacations in Morocco, with its more tolerant attitude. Religious-right morons still oppose gay marriage, naturally – they have nothing against gays (they say through gritted teeth), but the Bible says that marriage should be between a man and a woman. And the Bible, having been written by ancient Jewish bigots, is of course right. Never mind that the Muslim rules on homosexuality come from the same root as the Jewish and Christian rules… this is the kind of problem that makes morons’ heads explode, a sound that can often be heard throughout Twitter.