Rewind: My Predictions for 2011 Reviewed

Moron 2011
2011: A Moronic Year

Anyone who says they can reliably predict anything complex is either deluded or a liar. Nevertheless, “pundits” are well paid by media outlets to do exactly that, and the start and end of the year is a particularly busy time for this type of quackery. These modern-day soothsayers will of course focus heavily on their successes and ignore their failings, thus “demonstrating” that they’re qualified for the job of telling us what the coming year will hold, or where we should invest our money.

Not to be left out, I made my own predictions at the start of the year, and it’s only fair, given my strict adherence to scientific principles, that I review my success. I made seven predictions. Let’s see how I did.

Prediction 1: Winter will be colder than summer

OK, this was a pretty easy one. This was actually a prediction that morons would greet the cold weather with cries of “What happened to global warming?” I was right on that count too. And you watch, the moment a cold snap hits anywhere, especially in the US, they’ll say it again this year. I think this is what morons think of as humour.

Score: 10/10

Prediction 2: The Tea Party Will Become Increasingly Confused

Given how confused the average Teapartier already was this was a brave prediction. Did it come true? Well, the “grass-roots” phase of the Tea Party seems to have fizzled out. Though designed to look like a movement of the people, it was a well-funded campaign by far-right interests to win seats in Congress, and it succeeded. The initial phase involving marches of angry, misinformed morons has ended, and the morons have gone home, perhaps wondering how they were so easily fooled into marching for billionaires’ interests (but probably not).

The rise of Occupy, a genuinely spontaneous (and unlike the Tea Party, global) movement eclipsed the Tea Party from September onwards. Teapartiers were left to gloat on Twitter that police didn’t assault and arrest Tea Party marchers like they did Occupiers. Well yeah, that’s because the Tea Party was fighting for the right of the powerful to remain powerful – Occupy on the other hand was a genuine challenge to authority.

Was I right? Kind-of – I don’t really know how to measure this accurately. The Teapartiers were confused, are confused and will continue to be confused.

Score: 5/10

Prediction 3: Islamophobia to Rise in Europe/Israel, peak in UK/US

This is a big prediction, and hard to measure over such a short time-frame.The Islamophobes march onward. Breaking it down:

  • Mainland Europe: the drumbeat of fascism pounds ever louder, and Muslims are bearing the brunt. As the hate becomes established “fact” in the mind of morons, inevitably crazies take action – most noticeably in Norway in July, when Anders Breivik attacked and killed 77 people associated with the Labour Party. He was partly driven by hate for Muslims, and inspired by the English Defence League (EDL) and the Muslim-hating American Pamela Geller. For sure, things haven’t improved in Europe during 2011.
  • Israel: fascism is rising, and is taking an increased stranglehold over government. Israel, once a largely secular country, is increasingly religious, and the religious right is establishing itself in government and the military. Islamophobia isn’t at the heart of Israeli fascism, but it plays an increasing role. Israel continues to head rightwards into fascist territory.
  • UK: the main far-right party, the British National Party (BNP), seems to have undergone a partial collapse through the year. The EDL, a fascist street movement, also doesn’t seem to have made gains in support, though it recently announced an electoral pact with a tiny far-right group, the British Freedom Party. Overall, the far-right looks weaker than it did a year ago – whether that involves wishful thinking on my part though, I’m unsure.
  • US: I’ve detected less Islamophobic screaming on Twitter, as the right turns more to immigration as its primary cause. But recently, a non-controversial TV show called All American Muslim showed that Muslim-hate is not only strong among ordinary morons, but that corporations could be swung as well.

Score: 6/10… probably

Prediction 4: US Economy Will Gain Strength as UK Weakens

The US was pushing ahead with a government-funded stimulus; a fairly weak one, but a stimulus nonetheless. Meanwhile, the British government began heavy spending cuts in 2010. This provided the perfect comparison: stimulus or austerity? Which would win?

Stimulus won convincingly. The US economy is showing increasing (but still weak) growth and unemployment is starting to fall. Meanwhile, growth has completely stalled in the UK, and we may have already entered another recession. UK unemployment is rising fast. The bad news is that moronic Western governments are now all determined to use austerity before the economy is strong enough to take it, despite the lessons of the US/UK experiment (which proved yet again that Keynes was right).

Score: 10/10

Prediction 5: Oil price rises, morons draw wrong conclusions

As demand for oil rises globally, the price can only go up. As I predicted, the price rose strongly until April. At that point, new fears emerged over the US and European economies, and the price started to slide. It then rose again, and finished the year higher than it had begun. This prediction wasn’t difficult – energy prices are going to keep rising fast until huge investment is made in non-fossil fuels. And (as I pointed out), the Republicans controlling the House of Representatives won’t let that happen; neither will the oil-industry-loving Conservatives in the UK. We continue to wait for Germany and China to deliver mass, low-cost alternatives.

As for morons drawing the wrong conclusions: that was an even easier prediction. US morons blamed President Obama and demanded more domestic drilling (which is happening anyway). UK car-driving morons screamed that the government takes too much tax (missing the point that it’s only high taxes on fuel that have stopped us becoming even more addicted to oil than we already are).

Score: 10/10

Predictions 6 and 7: Jesus won’t return and the world won’t end

A fair number of morons believed the crazy predictions of preacher Harold Camping that Jesus would return on May 21st, and Judgement Day would come on Oct 21st. I bravely predicted this wouldn’t happen. And it didn’t. Yay!

Score 10/10

So I think I did pretty well. OK, I didn’t mention the Arab uprisings, the ongoing meltdown of Europe, the Japanese quake and tsunami, the rise of Occupy, or the laughable mess of the Republican Party’s race to find an opponent for Obama (I should at least have predicted the last one).

What do you think will happen in 2012? I reserve the right to “borrow” the best predictions and make them my own.

A Very American Coup

On or around 2nd August, without an increase in its debt ceiling, the US will begin to run out of money, and be forced to begin defaulting on its payments (in fact, the ceiling was hit in May, at which point the US began deferring pension fund investments). Raising the debt ceiling is usually a fairly routine affair – it’s happened 74 times since March 1962, including 10 in the past decade. It has to happen when the government needs to borrow more money; of course, the raise tends to be accompanied by standard complaints from opposition politicians about mismanagement of the country’s finances, but it gets lifted anyway. Not to do so would be catastrophic, and neither party has been prepared to get blamed for a potential financial and economic meltdown.

Until now.

Something’s shifted in recent US politics: the birth of the Tea Party movement, ostensibly a grass-roots campaigning body that believes in lower taxes and “smaller government”. In reality, even if the Tea Party began as a popular movement, it was quickly hijacked by far-right interests, in particular Americans For Prosperity, which is funded by the billionaire Koch Brothers. Last November, around 60 Tea Party-backed candidates were elected to the House of Representatives, forming a caucus under the chairmanship of the gay-hating, genuinely moronic Michele Bachmann. Bachmann seems to have displaced Sarah Palin as the natural leader for American morons, and is standing to be the Republican candidate to oppose Obama in the 2012 presidential elections.

Previously, while extremism was prevalent in the Republican Party, and stupidity was fairly widespread in both parties, no significant group of people was ideological (or just crazy) enough to allow the US to contemplate its first ever default. The realistic deadline for agreeing a deal came and went last Friday, and all attempts at deals have fallen through. While (of course) the Republicans have tried to paint the situation as intransigence on both sides, the blame falls squarely on them; they refuse to contemplate a penny in tax rises, a stance which has been branded economic illiteracy by The Economist. If there’s any criticism of Obama, it’s been for his over-willingness to compromise without receiving the same from the other side.

This creates a puzzle; are there really people in Congress who are prepared to see huge damage done to the US economy by their obstinacy? Bachmann and a number of others made clear that they would oppose a ceiling increase regardless of any deal; in effect voting for an economic calamity. I wrote a post on the crisis last week, in which I suggested three reasons why the more extreme individuals may contemplate a default, as follows:

  1. Somehow the US electoral system really did allow genuine, semi-literate morons to be elected. They simply don’t understand the implications of what they’re doing, and believe the “we don’t need government” nonsense that they spew out.
  2. Some of these people are religious nuts; they live for Armageddon, and have got themselves into a position to bring it forward by crashing the global economy. Think I’m joking? Sadly, no.
  3. This one is a guess on my part: The suicide-bomb theory. The US owes China vast amounts of money – that’s part of the source of China’s growing economic power. Perhaps the morons think that if the US defaults on its debts, China would suffer enormous damage too. Of course, the only problem with suicide bombing is that the US (and Europe) would go down along with China. Perhaps these crazies think the US could recover quicker, and postpone the day when China inevitably takes over as the world’s largest economy.

I think all of these do apply, but I missed something bigger: a deliberate default by these corporate-funded individuals represents an effective coup against the democratically-elected Federal government, and against the US Constitution itself. While this has become increasingly obvious over the past few days, all doubt was removed by an interview with Senator Mike Lee, a member of the smaller Tea Party caucus in the Senate, in which he openly threatens the US with economic mayhem unless the Constitution is amended to meet Tea Party demands. It’s worth reading it carefully and contemplating its implications. Here we have a group of elected individuals, bought and paid for by far-right corporate interests, helped into office by Murdoch’s Fox propaganda channel, who are in a position to do major (perhaps unprecedented) damage to the global economy, and appear willing to do so.

America’s elected government was painstakingly set up by the founding fathers, backed by the US constitution, to defend the interests of the American people against the power of unelected vested interests. At the time, the the risk to democracy came from European royalty and super-wealthy aristocrats; but those powers have faded to near-insignificance, and been replaced by a new “corporate aristocracy” who are every bit as much a threat to democracy as the old aristos were. Without government, there is no democracy; if the government is brought to impotence by the Tea Party’s actions, democracy takes a huge hit (at the expense of an economic earthquake). Those best placed to move in and take advantage (both financial and political) of the chaos are the very people who back the Tea Party and other extreme members of the Republican Party.

Unlike the original Boston Tea Party, which challenged power on behalf of the people, the new version attacks the people on behalf of power. This is no revolution – it’s looking increasingly like a coup.

Moronic Republicans And The Debt Ceiling

It provided me with great entertainment over the past couple of years to watch the rise of the Tea Party, a far-right, “small government” grouping that took off in protest against “Obamacare” (because after all, who would want guaranteed access to healthcare? Not morons, that’s for sure).

And then I was again amused to see a number of Tea Party-supporting morons elected to Congress last November, representing a swing to the right both within Congress and within the Republican Party, which saw (relatively) sane candidates swept away by morons. But nobody told me these lunatics could have the power to crash the world economy…

Republicans in Congress are blocking the requirement to raise the US debt ceiling; without this increase by early-August (at the latest), America will default on its debt, leading to an unprecedented disaster across the Western and global economy. The Republican demands seem to come in two flavours: very moronic and ultra-moronic:

  1. Those who are simply “very moronic” demand that Obama introduce huge spending cuts and no tax rises at all, even for the wealthy.
  2. The “ultra-morons” (including MoronWatch favourite Michele Bachmann) simply don’t want to increase the debt ceiling at all.

Note that Obama is offering heavy spending cuts (in line with initial Republican demands), but is also insistent that some tax rises are necessary.

This may seem a complex decision, but there are some clear-cut points here. Here’s a quick guide (with thanks to The Economist) to the US budget decisions.

  • Is this the right time to start heavy cuts? That’s debatable. Cutting while the economy is still weak will hurt the economy – how much it gets hurt is open to debate, but a recent study by IMF economists suggests that heavy cuts tend to do more harm than good. This implies that the Republicans and most Democrats (including President Obama) are wrong in introducing austerity at this stage.
  • Do there need to be tax rises? This is more clear-cut: the Economist, in an unusually outspoken editorial, recently referred to Republicans as “economically illiterate” for insisting on no tax rises.
  • Does bashing the poorest make sense? Republicans have suggested cuts to programmes such as food stamps. Ignoring the sheer callousness of this proposal (when these same people won’t support tax hikes for millionaires), this again is economically illiterate. Food stamps generate activity in the economy – $1.73 for each $1 spent. So the cuts would depress the economy by more than they save – and that doesn’t take into account the economic and social effects of having millions of people (half of them children) going hungry.

The result of not raising the debt ceiling would be so catastrophic that economists are barely even trying to predict what would happen, instead choosing (for now) to say “they wouldn’t let that happen, would they?”

So why are morons like Bachmann even contemplating it? I can think of three explanations:

  1. Somehow the US electoral system really did allow genuine, barely-literate morons to be elected. They simply don’t understand the implications of what they’re doing, and believe the “we don’t need government” nonsense that they spew out.
  2. Some of these people are religious nuts; they live for Armageddon, and have got themselves into a position to bring it forward by crashing the global economy. Think I’m joking? Sadly, no.
  3. This one is a guess on my part: The suicide-bomb theory. The US owes China vast amounts of money – that’s part of the source of China’s growing economic power. Perhaps the morons think that if the US defaults on its debts, China would suffer enormous damage too. Of course, the only problem with suicide bombing is that the US (and Europe) would go down along with China. Perhaps these crazies think the US could recover quicker, and postpone the day when China inevitably takes over as the world’s largest economy.

The only bright side to this is that hopefully, once this crisis is past, some of the smarter Republican voters will be so scared, so repulsed by these morons that the Republican Party will be punished for its lurch to craziness by being swept from power: in Congress and across the states for a generation to come. Are Americans well enough educated and informed to make that call? Let’s hope so. But there needs to be an earthquake in US politics. A vibrant democracy needs at least two viable alternatives – the US currently only has one.

Barack Obama Exposes Birthers As Morons

Most of you, whether in the US or anywhere else on Earth, will have heard about the Birther controversy. The widespread rumour that Barack Obama wasn’t born in the US, and so was ineligible to become President. In an attempt to lay the story to rest, Obama released his birth certificate during the 2008 election campaign; but the story, fueled by political rumours, continued to grow, with denials that the certificate released was real, and calls for the release of the “long-form” birth certificate.

The point was often made that no former (white) President had ever been asked to show his certificate – that the claims about Obama being non-American were coming from the traditionally racist right-wing constituency who were doubtless enraged with the election of a black President, and for whom the birth certificate issue became a proxy for their racism.

The discussion had seemed like it may slowly subside into the darkest corners of moronic conspiracy blogs when at the start of 2011, along came publicity-seeking billionaire Donald Trump, who raised the profile of the discussion again, much to the delight of the Obama-hating right, including the 40% of Republicans who believed that Obama was born overseas.

Then a couple of weeks ago, something strange happened; Fox News pundits who had enjoyed spreading anti-Obama stories, including birth-certificate-related ones, suddenly started to come out against the conspiracy theory. Had the anti-Obama right finally seen sense and decided to allow some honesty into the debate? Well, it seems not…

Today in a surprise announcement, Obama called time on the hysteria and released the long-form certificate. Perhaps he had finally decided to end the dumb discussion. Or maybe he’d carefully picked the moment to cause maximum political damage to his enemies. If the latter, he thoroughly deserves his moment, after having to take flak from morons over a period of more than two years.

So let’s look at who (deservedly) loses out here:

  • Donald Trump, who decided it was smart to place himself at the head of the birther movement, and whose presidential run is probably now doomed as a result. Strangely, Trump is trying to spin the birth certificate release as a victory… well, good luck with that!
  • The Republican Party, which allowed the discussion to grow and grow, and now can only be damaged by it.
  • The Tea Party, the fake “revolutionary” movement created by right-wing billionaires, which is tainted with birtherism.
  • The right-wing media, most of all Fox News, that helped spread the idea. Even right-wing British rags like the Daily Mail joined the game.
  • And finally, thousands of ordinary morons who used Twitter to repeat the lies they’d been told. Their racism got the better of their reason (if they had any to start with) and they end up looking most stupid of all.

The War On Morons has a long way to go; but today marks victory in a decisive battle.

Michele Bachmann – A Special Kinda Moron

It’s been suggested that Sarah Palin gets too much attention, and maybe we should all be ignoring her a bit more. I (reluctantly) agree. But nobody said anything about Michele Bachmann, a congress member for Minnesota and Tea Party spokesperson, who makes Palin look like a smart, rational human being. Bachmann came to my attention this morning after giving the Tea Party’s response to Obama’s State Of The Union address – which was well received, except by right-wing crazies.

In her response, she did a good job of trying to appear sane and informed – at least compared to previous appearances. She had a chart with red and blue bars and stuff, showing how the national debt leapt up moments after Obama took office. She forgot to mention the part about the financial system collapsing just before he took office, which was possibly dishonest, or maybe she really didn’t know (after all, it was over two years ago, and who can remember things that happened even last week?)

Anyway, I don’t want to quibble about such minor oversights. Below are a few quotes and (for real Bachmann fans) a couple of informative and stimulating video clips.

  • “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?”
  • “During the last 100 days we have seen an orgy. It would make any local smorgasbord embarrassed … The government spent its wad by April 26.”
  • “Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.” (See video below)
  • “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”
  • “I don’t know where they’re going to get all this money because we’re running out of rich people in this country.”

You’re still here? You’re obviously a committed Bachmann fan. Some cute video clips for you…

Here, Michele points out that carbon dioxide is good for plants. This of course, is true. She doesn’t say what happens if atmospheric CO2 suddenly increases by 50% – but that’s probably not important anyway.

And here, Bachmann (who is clearly a worldly and well-travelled individual) talks about the riots of ethnic minorities in France. I thought this was about police violence towards non-whites and high youth unemployment, but apparently it’s because their welfare benefits need to increase. Oh, and she mentions that “Not all cultures are equal” – again, a reasoned, well thought-out argument.

(Not-scary-at-all Michele Bachmann photo taken from her Wikileaks page)

Looking Ahead: Morons in 2011

At this time in a new year, you can expect political pundits, economists and “futurologists” to give their predictions for the next 12 months. As the world’s leading Moronologist (self-appointed), I’ve decided to share my predictions for the coming 12 months. Where will be the hotspots of moron activity? Who are the morons to watch? What will morons be doing and saying in 2011?

Prediction 1: Winter will be colder than summer

OK – that’s obvious. However, this simple fact takes morons by surprise every year, and provides their small minds with “evidence” that man-made global warming is a myth. Meanwhile, the oil, coal, gas, motor, road and aviation industries will continue to fund denialist organisations in order to keep millions of morons confused.

Morons to watch: in the absence of any actual scientists who deny climate change, the serial climate liar Christopher Monckton is likely to again be wheeled out by deniers. It doesn’t matter that he’s been repeatedly discredited; morons don’t check facts anyway.

Probability: 100%

Prediction 2: The Tea Party will become increasingly confused

Given the extreme levels of confusion already existing within these moronic groups, this is a braver prediction. The Tea Party is a loose-knit collection of assorted morons, who believe they are part of an “anti-elite” movement, but who in fact are funded and nurtured by some fairly “elite” types. As activists realise they’ve been primarily used as a tool to win lower taxes and looser regulation for the super rich and big business, many will drift away, disillusioned.

Morons to watch: this may be a make-or-break year for Sarah Palin, the Moron Queen of Morondom. Her chances of becoming 2012 presidential candidate seem to be slipping, and she’s likely to end 2011 by drifting further from politics towards lucrative celebrity deals.

Probability: 75%

Prediction 3: Islamaphobia to rise in Europe/Israel, peak in US/UK

This is a complex one; since 9/11, morons have been inciting even dumber morons to believe that Islam poses a threat to life, the universe and everything. Islamaphobia has helped fuel the growth of neo-fascist movements across Europe, that were already in recovery as collective memories of the Holocaust faded away. Xenophobia is at the core of European identity, though Europe plays well at being “tolerant” in between the odd genocide. Neo-fascists have been making electoral gains for some time in places like France, Italy, Belgium, the Netherlands and across the old Soviet bloc. Israel has also seen a long rise of neo-fascists being elected – something that has deeply disturbed Holocaust survivors.

Meanwhile in Britain, which has always been less fertile ground for fascism than most of Europe, the BNP (British National Party) appears to be heading for collapse amidst electoral failure and financial meltdown. The EDL (English Defence League), perhaps Britain’s dumbest organisation, has gained somewhat as a result, but I predict that they too will splinter and decline during 2011, largely because they don’t seem to have any member who can read or write.

And in America, where mainstream politics are further to the right, the far-right have always found a home within the Republican Party, which ironically seems to rein in their more extreme elements.

Morons to watch: Publicity-seeking Pamela Geller will keep ranting to ever-smaller crowds before vanishing from public view. BNP Leader and British eyesore Nick Griffin may well be ousted as BNP leader. Creepy-looking Dutch MP and inciter of hatred Geert Wilders will continue to be the rallying point for Nazis across Europe.

Probability: 50% – very much depends on whether Islamist terrorist morons (or people pretending to be Islamist terrorist morons) succeed in any major attacks in the West during this year. Also depends on unemployment levels across Europe.

Prediction 4: US economy will gain strength as UK weakens

2011 will provide the results of the big test: stimulus spending (as tried by the Obama administration and by the outgoing Labour government in the UK until May) and government spending cuts (as favoured by the UK’s new Conservative leaders). UK consumers are already reacting badly to VAT rises and government jobs cuts… which is likely to lead to lower tax revenues, and the need for even more cuts (as already demonstrated in Ireland).

Morons to watch: the new Republican speaker John “Crybaby” Boehner needs to help derail the recovery if the Republicans are to have a good chance of winning the 2012 presidential elections. UK Prime Minister David “Rich Boy” Cameron will announce that the recovery is weaker than expected (without taking the blame) and “regretfully” announce further spending cuts.

Probability: 60% – depends on many factors including Prediction 5…

Prediction 5: Oil price rises, morons draw wrong conclusions

Upwards pressure on oil prices continues for simple reasons: the easiest-to-reach supplies are dwindling, pushing oil companies to exploit more expensive sources like oil sands and deep-sea wells. America uses in excess of a quarter of the world’s oil supplies, but developing countries are growing much faster than the West, and use more oil each day.

If your friend was addicted to a substance that is becoming increasingly expensive and hard to come by, which of the following advice would you give them?

  1. Try to use less of it, or
  2. Keep using more, and spend more time and money looking for new supplies.

The oil industry runs the Republican Party, and the Republican Party now runs the House of Representatives, so America will try 2) the moron approach. Being chronically addicted to oil, the moron approach is to spend huge amounts of money to find more oil, and deepen the addiction in the process, leading to an even deeper crash when global oil supplies finally peak. At the time of writing, the oil price is $89 per barrel, and will probably be significantly higher at the end of 2011.

Being so deeply in the grip of oil morons, America’s choices are a painful adjustment now, or an even more painful adjustment later. “Kicking the can down the road” is the moronic choice, and no doubt the approach America will take. Meanwhile China, apparently less in awe of everything the oil industry says, is investing heavily in green energy alternatives.

Morons to watch: The newly-empowered Republicans will stall attempts to invest in green energy, and try to kill rail investment (which would cut transport energy usage). The oil industry will continue to claim that there are centuries of oil supplies left, despite all the evidence. Morons will complain that the price of gas keeps rising, but keep on driving their SUVs anyway.

Probability: 80%

And finally… Predictions 6 and 7: Jesus won’t return and the world won’t end

And now for some morons we can all laugh at (well, almost all of us anyway).

A group calling itself We Can Know ran posters last year in Nashville, Tennessee to advertise their web site. They claim that Jesus will return on May 21 2011, and the world will end on October 21 2011. Their campaign was reported in The Tennessean, but the story was later removed (original link). Meanwhile, many other groups have settled on December 21 2012 as the true date.

For those who believe in the Rapture, and are worried about their pets’ wellbeing after they float up to heaven, a kindly group of atheists have set up a pet care service.

Morons to watch: look out for religious nuts acting even angrier than usual when they wake up on May 22 and find they shouldn’t have sold all their worldly belongings on eBay for a dollar.

Probability: 100% (actually, make that 99%… just in case)

Top Ten Morons Of 2010

Hi Moron Watchers,

As most of you will know, MoronWatch was born on Twitter some months ago, and has proved to be more popular than I expected. Twitter is a great place, but some things just can’t be done in 140 characters, so I bring you… (fanfare)… the MoronWatch blog!

This first post is dedicated to identifying the top ten morons of 2010. This has been an impossible task – 2010 has been a good year for stupidity, and as a result I can only pick a few people and groups to represent world moronkind. I apologise to those who didn’t make the cut, and wish you better luck in 2011. The winners come both from Twitter, and from the “real” world beyond.

Before I introduce the winners, I’d like to thank you for following and interacting with MoronWatch on Twitter for the past few months, and wish you a moron-free Christmas and New Year. And now, on with the show…

  • In 10th place is the creationist genius Joe Cienkowski, a popular tweeter who is fighting a lonely battle to prove that Creationism is a valid science, while Evolution is a crazy religion based on faith. Joe deserves his award for the amount of effort he puts in to this task, including making videos. His arguments are many and complex, but his core argument is that evolution is too slow to be witnessed, so therefore can’t be true. He also has mathematical proof that the world is 6,000 years old, and artfully dismisses the existence of fossils as a scam. A typical entertaining (if confusing) tweet is “If evolution is true (impossible) then when we do our ancestry family tree, one of our ancestors was actually swinging from that tree”. We love you Joe!
  • Our 9th place goes to Realbrother0003, another lone maverick, fighting the good fight against racism online. Though this is of course to be applauded (and indeed I’d like to support him), Real Brother ends up doing more harm than good for the cause. Most people who disagree with him are labelled White Racists – sadly, this category seems to include a number of black and Asian people. Where he accepts that an opponent is black, they are then labelled either a “self-hating black”, or most entertainingly, a “black man hating black lesbian”. He also has a wide array of “Afro-centric facts” at his disposal, such as that Christianity and Islam both originate in Africa, and that a child’s race is inherited only from its father. I’ve pointed out that Bob Marley would be white under these rules, in response to which I was called a white racist. To make it harder to follow him, Real Brother refuses to keep to the 140 Twitter limit, instead posting mini-essays via Twitlonger.
  • 8th place is a group award to the many American conservatives who seem to all take the same stories from Fox News and repeat them endlessly as if they were true. There are many of these specimens, and they live in a fantasy world apart from the rest of us. They believe in the craziest myths, many of them directed at Barack Obama being foreign/a Muslim/a Socialist/a Communist. While there are many easily-led right wingers here in the UK and elsewhere, the “American Patriot” is alone in believing almost anything he/she is told, however divergent from the truth. Examples from the past few hours alone include the Socialist-hating osPatriot who has Einstein for his avatar. When I kindly pointed out that Einstein was a Socialist, he blocked me. Also typical is KurtSchlichter, who insists that the 2008 crash was caused by the government; like so many conservatives, he can see no instance where the free market can screw up, even where it blatantly has done. The American conservative is alone in the world in insisting that the government gives tax breaks to the rich. He believes that this will help the economy, and he believes that because rich people told him so.
  • In 7th place we go to Africa, where homophobia is gripping much of the continent. The Kenyan tweeter YESUMob specialises in posting random, and usually irrelevant Bible verses, with the occasional bit of gay hatred thrown in. Other special moron mentions include the Malawi government who imprisoned a gay couple for 14 years for having a marriage ceremony; The Kenyan Prime Minister Raila Odinga who recently called for gays to be rounded up; and David Bahati, a Ugandan MP who is introducing a bill to parliament to execute gays. Also included in this category are some Western liberals who hesitate to criticise African attitudes for fear of being accused of racism; or even worse, those liberals who think that Africans were “taught” homophobia by the white man, and so have no responsibility for their own attitudes.
  • 6th place is dedicated to those people who think that cutting government will help the economy. Special mention must go to the Irish government, which cut deeply in order to reduce the deficit. The cuts damaged the economy, reducing tax revenues, and forcing the deficit up rather than down. Having cut and failed once, the Irish are determined to cut even more deeply, under pressure from the IMF. Irish people are reported to be leaving the country in their thousands, and the house market has collapsed. Also a special mention goes to the British government, which is determined to follow the Irish path by doing the same thing. Having seen the banks force the economy into recession, these British geniuses have wreaked their revenge… by cutting benefits to the poor and massively increasing the cost of university education.
  • In 5th place is the state of Israel, and its moronic global supporters. Israel continues with its slow-motion genocide against the Palestinian people. It pretends to pay heed to “peace processes” while continuing to grab Palestinian land, strangle the economy in Gaza and carry out daily acts of terror and humiliation against the Palestinian population. In May, nine Turkish peace campaigners were shot dead on a boat bringing aid to Gaza. Gazan children who collect gravel for building work are used for target practise by the Israeli Defence Force. This prize goes jointly to those who watch the genocide but do or say nothing, particularly to the American government who act as a defensive wall around the genocide. Israel has made particularly clever use of Twitter, with paid tweeters combating anti-Israeli sentiment online.
  • 4th Prize goes to the Muslim-baiters of Europe, North America and Israel, who continuously spread lies and fear about Muslims and Islam. Bizarrely, the methods being used to stoke up fear against Muslims are taken straight from Nazi methodology against Jews. Some of the most moronic people around the world have been persuaded that a tiny minority in Western countries poses a threat to society, in a sinister echo of the 1930s Jew-hate that brought Hitler to power. The Muslim-hate has created a bizarre alliance of European/American fascists with pro-Israel supporters; the very political movements that decimated Europe’s Jewish population in the 1940s now claim to be firm supporters of the Jewish state. Special mentions go to: The blogger, Muslim-hater and serial liar Pamela Geller, who makes up stories, and then writes new stories referencing her own previous lies as sources; the moronic majority of Oklahomans who voted to ban Sharia law, despite the fact that Oklahoma’s tiny Muslim minority had never called for it; the people of Switzerland who voted to ban the building of minarets, echoing Nazi-era rules about synagogue building; and moron/Pastor Terry Jones of Florida who managed to get global publicity from a moronic media, after threatening a Quran-burning ceremony on September 11 – before changing his mind. By repeatedly posting about “Muslim atrocities” while ignoring the majority of atrocities carried out by non-Muslims (in particular this year’s Sri Lankan massacre of Hindu Tamils by the Buddhist Sinhalese majority), these morons create a compelling picture of a “Muslim Problem”.
  • In 3rd place come the English Defence League, a neo-fascist movement that supposedly exists to combat “Islamic extremism”. However, the highly stupid and semi-literate followers of the EDL keep forgetting to stick to the script, and so have been guilty of racist rants against Jews and Asians, along with physical attacks on Sikh and Hindu temples. The EDL are best known online for their inability to write in even basic English, which kind-of makes a mockery of their name. On demonstrations, their illiterate placards are legendary, particularly a recent one saying “SPORT ARE TROOP’S”. In following the EDL’s activities, I often make use of the valuable work done by ExposingTweets, who follows and records their insane ramblings on Facebook.
  • 2nd place is devoted to big oil, which has continued to make such a mess of the world in 2010, along with its supporters in the Republican Party. It seems painfully obvious that America needs to heavily cut its oil consumption or face economic extinction, but the oil industry has ensured that Americans are kept oblivious of this truth, and that America’s leaders leave the industry alone to continue making billions of profit each month. Special mentions go to: BP, which was responsible for the huge oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, and has since invested much time and money into telling us how the spill had minimal environmental impact; Koch Oil, who have invested millions into front organisations denying climate change; Fox News, without whom the American public would wake up to the unfolding disaster of oil addiction, and demand action; and last but not least, the great American moron, who believes he has the right to drive his SUV as far as he wants, despite the fact that this drives up the cost of oil and food for the world’s poor 50%
  • And finally… despite huge competition, the undisputed moron heavyweight champions of the world are… the Teaparty! Millions of “American Patriots” have correctly come to the conclusion that SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE. But have then been persuaded that the change that’s needed is to push even more power to the corporations who have made such a mess of America in recent decades. This “revolutionary movement” is suspiciously white in its make-up, but of course this has nothing to do with a feeling of revulsion among America’s large racist minority at seeing a black man in the White House. Special mentions go to the movement’s “leaders” and instigators, particuarly the gruesome moronic duo of conspiracy-inventor extraordinaire, Glenn Beck, along with the Queen of of Morondom, Sarah Palin, who most recently entertained the world by allying herself with North Korea. Let’s also remember those Teaparty morons who we may not be hearing from in future: the super-crazies Sharron Angle who lost her electoral battle in Nevada, and Christine “Don’t Masturbate” O’Donnell who failed in her run for Delaware.

And that’s it folks! Look out for more tweets and blog posts in 2011, along with audio podcasts and more! Thanks for listening – I’m out of here till next year.

MW x