Theresa May Creates A New Moron Myth

Theresa May Moron
Hang Theresa May? Some mistake surely..

The annual Tory (Conservative) Party conference is of course the height of moron season in the UK, and this year’s is (so far) no exception).

Yesterday’s choice moment came from Theresa May, the Home Secretary (not to be confused with Teresa May the porn star – take care when Googling). Right-wing Tories are upset that, due to being in coalition with the Liberal Democrats, the Tories in government haven’t yet herded ethnic minorities and the poor into extermination camps. It’s therefore the job of conference speakers to say insanely stupid/dishonest things that will cheer up the moronic wing of the party.

May delivered in style, attacking the Human Rights Act (the HRA is a pet hate for British morons, as you’d imagine) with the claim:

“…illegal immigrant who cannot be deported because – and I am not making this up – he had a pet cat…”

Readers of the British moron press (aka the tabloids) will be familiar with this kind of claim, which is a common enough feature of British political discourse; indeed, most Sun, Mail and Express readers will be able to regale you with tales of paedophiles freed to strike again, murdering immigrants who can’t be deported in case they’re tortured, and so on.

The right hates the HRA for a variety of reasons, including:

  1. It classes immigrants as human,
  2. It classes Muslims as human,
  3. It was given to us by the EU, and perhaps most appallingly,
  4. It’s used to defend human rights.

May’s claim about the immigrant’s cat therefore pleased the moronic Tory right by attacking the HRA, the EU and immigrants in one short sentence.

Anyone (at least any non-moron) watching the speech would have immediately been wary about believing the claim because a) it was said at Tory Party conference, b) Theresa May said it, c) she used the words “I am not making this up” and d) almost all such claims ever made have been thoroughly discredited. True to form, it turned out to be a lie: the man in question hadn’t been deported because he was in a long-term relationship with an EU citizen. The cat only came into the story because it was one of the pieces of evidence presented to demonstrate the veracity of the relationship.

To his credit, my favourite Tory cabinet minister Ken Clarke (from a shortlist of one) was the first to challenge the claim, and Channel 4 News quickly checked and discredited it.

Morons though will have already added this lie to their list of reasons as to why the HRA, the EU and immigrants are all evil, and it will no doubt circulate in moron circles forever.