Rewind: My Predictions for 2011 Reviewed

Moron 2011
2011: A Moronic Year

Anyone who says they can reliably predict anything complex is either deluded or a liar. Nevertheless, “pundits” are well paid by media outlets to do exactly that, and the start and end of the year is a particularly busy time for this type of quackery. These modern-day soothsayers will of course focus heavily on their successes and ignore their failings, thus “demonstrating” that they’re qualified for the job of telling us what the coming year will hold, or where we should invest our money.

Not to be left out, I made my own predictions at the start of the year, and it’s only fair, given my strict adherence to scientific principles, that I review my success. I made seven predictions. Let’s see how I did.

Prediction 1: Winter will be colder than summer

OK, this was a pretty easy one. This was actually a prediction that morons would greet the cold weather with cries of “What happened to global warming?” I was right on that count too. And you watch, the moment a cold snap hits anywhere, especially in the US, they’ll say it again this year. I think this is what morons think of as humour.

Score: 10/10

Prediction 2: The Tea Party Will Become Increasingly Confused

Given how confused the average Teapartier already was this was a brave prediction. Did it come true? Well, the “grass-roots” phase of the Tea Party seems to have fizzled out. Though designed to look like a movement of the people, it was a well-funded campaign by far-right interests to win seats in Congress, and it succeeded. The initial phase involving marches of angry, misinformed morons has ended, and the morons have gone home, perhaps wondering how they were so easily fooled into marching for billionaires’ interests (but probably not).

The rise of Occupy, a genuinely spontaneous (and unlike the Tea Party, global) movement eclipsed the Tea Party from September onwards. Teapartiers were left to gloat on Twitter that police didn’t assault and arrest Tea Party marchers like they did Occupiers. Well yeah, that’s because the Tea Party was fighting for the right of the powerful to remain powerful – Occupy on the other hand was a genuine challenge to authority.

Was I right? Kind-of – I don’t really know how to measure this accurately. The Teapartiers were confused, are confused and will continue to be confused.

Score: 5/10

Prediction 3: Islamophobia to Rise in Europe/Israel, peak in UK/US

This is a big prediction, and hard to measure over such a short time-frame.The Islamophobes march onward. Breaking it down:

  • Mainland Europe: the drumbeat of fascism pounds ever louder, and Muslims are bearing the brunt. As the hate becomes established “fact” in the mind of morons, inevitably crazies take action – most noticeably in Norway in July, when Anders Breivik attacked and killed 77 people associated with the Labour Party. He was partly driven by hate for Muslims, and inspired by the English Defence League (EDL) and the Muslim-hating American Pamela Geller. For sure, things haven’t improved in Europe during 2011.
  • Israel: fascism is rising, and is taking an increased stranglehold over government. Israel, once a largely secular country, is increasingly religious, and the religious right is establishing itself in government and the military. Islamophobia isn’t at the heart of Israeli fascism, but it plays an increasing role. Israel continues to head rightwards into fascist territory.
  • UK: the main far-right party, the British National Party (BNP), seems to have undergone a partial collapse through the year. The EDL, a fascist street movement, also doesn’t seem to have made gains in support, though it recently announced an electoral pact with a tiny far-right group, the British Freedom Party. Overall, the far-right looks weaker than it did a year ago – whether that involves wishful thinking on my part though, I’m unsure.
  • US: I’ve detected less Islamophobic screaming on Twitter, as the right turns more to immigration as its primary cause. But recently, a non-controversial TV show called All American Muslim showed that Muslim-hate is not only strong among ordinary morons, but that corporations could be swung as well.

Score: 6/10… probably

Prediction 4: US Economy Will Gain Strength as UK Weakens

The US was pushing ahead with a government-funded stimulus; a fairly weak one, but a stimulus nonetheless. Meanwhile, the British government began heavy spending cuts in 2010. This provided the perfect comparison: stimulus or austerity? Which would win?

Stimulus won convincingly. The US economy is showing increasing (but still weak) growth and unemployment is starting to fall. Meanwhile, growth has completely stalled in the UK, and we may have already entered another recession. UK unemployment is rising fast. The bad news is that moronic Western governments are now all determined to use austerity before the economy is strong enough to take it, despite the lessons of the US/UK experiment (which proved yet again that Keynes was right).

Score: 10/10

Prediction 5: Oil price rises, morons draw wrong conclusions

As demand for oil rises globally, the price can only go up. As I predicted, the price rose strongly until April. At that point, new fears emerged over the US and European economies, and the price started to slide. It then rose again, and finished the year higher than it had begun. This prediction wasn’t difficult – energy prices are going to keep rising fast until huge investment is made in non-fossil fuels. And (as I pointed out), the Republicans controlling the House of Representatives won’t let that happen; neither will the oil-industry-loving Conservatives in the UK. We continue to wait for Germany and China to deliver mass, low-cost alternatives.

As for morons drawing the wrong conclusions: that was an even easier prediction. US morons blamed President Obama and demanded more domestic drilling (which is happening anyway). UK car-driving morons screamed that the government takes too much tax (missing the point that it’s only high taxes on fuel that have stopped us becoming even more addicted to oil than we already are).

Score: 10/10

Predictions 6 and 7: Jesus won’t return and the world won’t end

A fair number of morons believed the crazy predictions of preacher Harold Camping that Jesus would return on May 21st, and Judgement Day would come on Oct 21st. I bravely predicted this wouldn’t happen. And it didn’t. Yay!

Score 10/10

So I think I did pretty well. OK, I didn’t mention the Arab uprisings, the ongoing meltdown of Europe, the Japanese quake and tsunami, the rise of Occupy, or the laughable mess of the Republican Party’s race to find an opponent for Obama (I should at least have predicted the last one).

What do you think will happen in 2012? I reserve the right to “borrow” the best predictions and make them my own.

9 thoughts on “Rewind: My Predictions for 2011 Reviewed”

  1. 1) USA will increasingly threaten to invade Iran. Whether Obama would do it in election year would be a point for debate, though. (could win him some votes, but lose him more?)

    2) The UK coalition will entirely fall apart as the differences become entirely irreconcilable.

    Meanwhile.

    3) Labour will get rid of Ed. And he’ll be replaced by his bro.

    4) Many morons will beoome increasingly interested in Mayan prophecies: scarily superficially rather than interestingly intellectually.

    5) Morons will hunt at least one flagship species of big cat to extinction. Amur Leopard for example.

    6) Jesus will re-appear in East Grinstead.

  2. Leveson will drift onto a disappointing conclusion which will basically only involve toughing the PCC slightly, and having an independent overseer.

    Murdoch will sell the Sun, maybe the Times too. Can envisage him getting out of the UK paper market as Sky is far, far more profitable, and the outcry will have died somewhat.

    Britain’s credit rating will be downgraded by about April at the latest.

    Simon Cowell and Sinitta will leave the planet on the spaceship he has constructed in his underground volcanic lair.

    The UK coalition government will become further strained with ministers saying contradictory things, but won’t fall apart (it’s against both sides interests to have an election in the next year).

    Man City will win the UK Premiership.

    Real Madrid will win the European Cup.

    mini notjarvis and little miss notjarvis will continue to terrorise their father.

  3. Oh.

    And.

    RIO 20 will emerge as a massive failure for the planet. Powerful nations will completely opt out of anything binding and morons will repeatedly heckle the number of delegates flying there.

  4. I want to keep my predictions to within the realms of astronomy and particle physics, as that is probably where I’m best placed to comment.

    The Higgs Boson will be found.

    Super-luminous neutrinos will be ruled out.

    About 800 supernovae will be detected, with maybe the one being Betelguese. One could be in our Galaxy.

    About 30 more exoplanets will be found, maybe one will be similar to Keller 22b.

    1. “Super-luminous neutrinos will be ruled out.” – Wishful thinking? The alternative is you have to go back and study Physics again from scratch 😉

  5. As for energy prices, locally (I can only speak to my own personal experience), gas prices have actually been falling for the last 6 months or so… I don’t have any assumptions as to why, however.

    Love the blog, love the tweets. Keep it up!

  6. Nice blog and I like the comments to. I recognise the twitter user @Guidofawkes he usually tweets during The Wright Stuff on ch5. Moron’s have been posting about White Genocide and that Anti-racism is anti-white. That is all a load of betty swallocks. Some expect the world to end later this year. They will be disapointed/relieved to find that it won’t happen. There are some spoof mashups of ‘My Tram Experience’ on youtube. Also please visit these blogs: http://blog.mrblacksmokemonster.co.uk http://bawdybanter.blogspot.com Thanks for reading.

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