Is The World Going To End On Friday?

Harold Camping, Moron
Waiting For The End Of The World

Cast your mind back, if you can, to 21st May. You may remember Harold Camping predicting that the second coming of Christ would occur on that day. I blogged about this beforehand, and on 22nd May I asked the question: Whatever Happened To Jesus?

Now, some people mistakenly assumed that Camping was predicting the end of the world on 21st May. Of course not: that would be silly. What he actually predicted was that Jesus would return on 21st May, beginning a five month period of judgement, and on 21st October, the righteous would rise up to heaven while the Earth was destroyed in a hideous inferno. These dates are based on very precise mathematics which are far too complex for the average person to follow. I included Camping’s full reasoning as an appendix to my original post, but you read at your own risk: headaches may result.

The global news media, as ever failing to research properly, are reporting that Camping has switched the end date from May to October. In Camping’s defence, he has been consistent in his predictions. Yet again, MoronWatch stands alone in exposing shoddy journalism. Anyway, back to the story…

Unfortunately for Camping and his followers, especially those who threw in their jobs in preparation for the end, the second coming didn’t apparently take place on 21st May. Undeterred, Camping’s ministry published an explanation: Judgement Day did occur on May 21; or to be more accurate, the period of judgement began, to end precisely on October 21 as promised. Camping had predicted earthquakes, and he explains the lack of obvious quakes that day as follows:

In Genesis 2:7 we read:

And Jehovah God formed man of the dust of the ground…

Thus the word “earthquake” can also be understood to teach that mankind shakes.

And since mankind shook with fear on May 21 (at least, that small part of mankind that takes Camping seriously), the prophecy was self-fulfilling and therefore true.

What all this means is that the world is due to end on Friday. Sadly, because May’s Second Coming was such a disappointment, fewer people are taking this date seriously. Personally, I plan to engage in a massive orgy of sex and drugs, just in case… it would be a shame to let the opportunity pass. Meanwhile, mocking the gullible is highly recommended: it may seem mean to laugh at those whose dreams have been shattered, but since their dreams involve 99% of mankind suffering in eternal hellfire, I think mockery is the least they deserve.

6 thoughts on “Is The World Going To End On Friday?”

  1. You are right Mr Moron Watcher I am an average person and I have now got a headache from trying to understand his ‘reasoning’

  2. Unfortunately Friday doesn’t suit me (for the end of the world or an orgy of sex & drugs) could we reschedule again? Maybe just to save us all some energy maybe his end of world could co-occur with the Mayan Calendar, ie 21 December 2012.

    1. I have to admit this would suit me better too. I’ve made plans for this Friday and although I’m fairly sure there’s no likelihood of anyone I know being holy enough to get sucked up into the ether I’d rather not risk being one short for bridge.

  3. I have heard rumours that the Kraken has been repeatedly seen off the coast of Greece (with the odd excursion into the waters of the West Med). Do not mock these people they are Believers or was that Beliebers?

    I am wondering if he should be stoned as he said Jehovah 😉

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