The Twitter Moronic Statements FAQ

Some phrases reappear so often from morons on Twitter that you’d think they’re all being fed the same ideas by the same media outlets… I often find myself responding to near-identical moronic tweets.

Here are ten of the stock concepts that reappear regularly in tweets and bios.

  1. Gays want to recruit our children: Of course they do… they belong to a secret organisation that plans to take over the world. Only the truly brave dare to even reveal its existence.
  2. Obama is a Socialist: or Marxist, Communist… an accusation always thrown by people who don’t know what any of these words mean (but it was on Fox, so it’s true).
  3. Muslims are taking over: Never mind that the Muslim population of Europe and North America is sub-3%; or that the majority of these aren’t devout; or that the majority of the devout ones have no interest in “taking over” anyway. Basically twenty attention-seeking nuts hold a rally in London waving placards that say “Islam for Europe”. The photos appear on Facebook. And rightwing racists copy these photos onto 1,000 blogs; and suddenly there’s a “Muslim problem”.
  4. Global warming is a myth: No matter that every scientific body in the world accepts man-made global warming, or that the evidence is so compelling that every serious political force in the world accepts the need for action. Or that the skeptic cause is funded by the fossil fuels business, which stands to lose billions of dollars if emissions are to be cut. What’s important is that the Republican Party has long ceased to be an independent political force, and instead is addicted to the oil dollar – and if morons like Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann deny global warming, then it can’t be real, can it?
  5. Socialist-Fascist: Conservatives on both sides of the Atlantic once enthusiastically supported the rise of European fascism, and the Socialists, Communists and Anarchists were the only mass movements that actively opposed the fascists. But given the messy outcome of the fascist experiment, the right attempts to rewrite history and associate fascism with the left. Of course, nobody who’s studied the history of that era would believe such nonsense, but who needs to spend years reading when it’s all available in minutes on TV, blogs and Twitter? Fascism is on the rise once more, but because the scapegoats this time are Muslims instead of Jews, morons think it’s something altogether new.
  6. I want my country back: A black man was elected President of the USA.
  7. We can’t afford it: The Thatcher/Reagan experiment with free-market purity collapsed in 2008, leaving a tiny minority immeasurably richer and everyone else worse off. But morons haven’t noticed this carefully managed redistribution of wealth. If the super-rich say “we” can no longer afford public services, then who are we poor suckers to disagree?
  8. Life begins at conception: The so-called “pro-life” brigade (who perversely don’t seem to value anybody’s life except for that of “pre-born children”) are insistent that “science says” life begins from the moment of conception. While this may or may not be true, depending on your definition, it’s also completely irrelevant to the abortion debate. Although given the pathetic nature of the arguments, debate is too strong a word.
  9. Anti-semite: Someone who dares to criticise anything Israel might do, however illegal and barbaric. I’ve been called this many times, which given that I’m Jewish and the insult often thrown by non-Jews, I find hilarious.
  10. They want to destroy our freedoms: A Neocon special. “They” have an issue with your freedom to invade and bomb them for their oil. Try bringing the troops home – “they” might not hate you so much after all.

8 thoughts on “The Twitter Moronic Statements FAQ”

  1. I'll review the most interesting of these elsewhere. For now, the easy ones:
    1. Gays: Ok, who's saying this? Who believes this? No one I know, and I'm pretty connected into the "moron" community, and I know no one who believes Gays are coming for our children. LOL funny.
    2. Obama socialist: Perhaps they exaggerate. But, like your pal Chavez, there's no doubt that Obama has some Socialist leanings, and has friends who have espoused Marxism (Van Jones, Bill Ayers, Bernadine Dorhn). But, I think he's closer to Mussolini's Fascism than anything else.
    3. Muslims taking over. You conveniently use Europe's and North America's aggregate demography. The US is less than 1% Muslim, thus balancing out Europe's 6%. You fail to mention the rate of growth of the Muslim population in Europe, which far outstrips the non-Muslim growth (which is, in fact, declining). You fail to mention that by 2030, England and France will have increased to 8% Muslim, The Netherlands, Belgium, Austria, Sweden will be nearly 10% Muslim. You fail to mention that many Islamists view much of Europe as Muslim lands, and, as such, their desire to return them to the control of the Caliphate. Doesn't mean any of that is likely to happen, but, should the Muslim Brotherhood take control of Egypt, I think we might start hearing a little more about their agenda.
    4. Global Warming is a myth. It's so much of a myth that the Global Warmists have had to rebrand it Climate Change. But, hey, that's not as big a rebranding as when "The Next Ice Age" morphed to "Global Warming." And, check that consensus at the door, buddy, cause it's not a consensus, especially when it's based on junk science, and, even more so when the truth is – you and your AGW pals, are chasing the wrong greenhouse gas. (You're not a moron, you know exactly what I'm talking about).
    5. This is not really a point, but a screed.
    6. Hmmm, so simple to boil down $6T in additional deficit spending and turning the US medical system into the idyll that is the NHS as just hatred of a black man. I guess it's easier for you that way. Don't have to face facts.
    7. I could spend years debunking this one. Fact is that most of those in the bottom 20% at the beginning of Reagan's term found themselves out of it by the end. Reagan's economic program was extremely successful for people at the bottom of the economic ladder. What is intuitively obvious to us "morons" and supported by the empirical evidence, is, instead, still denied by those on the Left. Guess that makes you an economics-denier.
    8. You seem to want to argue that when life begins doesn't matter to the abortion debate. Inasmuch as the abortion debate in the US centers around the poorly decided Roe V. Wade decision, it surely does matter, since viability, and the definition thereof, was an important element of the ruling. Look, either you believe life begins at conception, or that it begins at birth (where do you stand?) – and, that wherever it begins, it deserves the protection of the state. If you believe that it begins somewhere in between, then we're arguing over where. Science is not pushing that point closer to 9 months, but closer to 0.
    9. I know you're a British Jew. I wouldn't call you anti-Semitic, I'd call you a self-loathing Jew. We've got a lot of them over here, too. I call them Liberal Jews.
    10. This is another one I don't hear among my moron friends. But, I don't take to the use of "they." BTW – I don't really care who "they" are, if "they" truly want to destroy our freedoms, I think I can count on Americans, at least, to fight "them" wherever "they" are. Something we used to be able to count on from our British allies, too.

    Your tweets are not as good anymore, either.

  2. Struggled to get through all of Jay's comment as I was laughing so much at the "Obama's more like Mussolini" bit. Following it up with the "poor people did really well under Thatcher and Reagan" was inspired. Seriously though, do you really expect to be taken seriously when your view of reality is so distant from reality itself?

  3. Well done Bransby for reading Jay's stuff – I struggled on slightly further, to his Muslim demographics. There are long-standing Muslim populations in parts of SE Europe; however in the EU the Muslim population is only about 3%. As for the rapid "rate of growth" in that population – that's just a moron myth. In fact given Europe's secular nature, the number of practising Muslims is, if anything, on the decline – here in "Londonistan", many Muslims drink and marry out of their communities.

    Jay – thanks as ever for the time and effort you invest in my blog, it's appreciated.

  4. @Jay: I may as well comment if nobody else is going to, for the sake of the morons reading this:

    1. A lot of people are, hence the blog post about lots of people saying these things. A lot of the fear associated with gay marriage, mentioning gays in sex ed classes and so forth seems to be that by acknowledging homosexuality then kids will "choose" to be gay. That's false of course, but that's why these people are morons.

    2. Well done, you've acknowledged that you have no idea what fascism, socialism and communism actually mean, and all in the same post! Now, accept your ignorance and refrain from voting until you at least have a basic grasp on political science.

    3. Ooga Booga, teh Mooslims are a comming! Seriously, though, even if Islam is on the rise, very few of those people are fundamentalist and the rise of atheists and people who simply don't care about religion is rising much faster. If you think Muslims are a problem, you're a bigot.

    4. "The Next Ice Age". LOL. Please, cite the evidence that this was ever a scientific consensus that this was true. Yeah, there were a few reports in the 70s that were blown out of proportion by the popular media, and there's an image of some out-of-context TIME covers circulating (two of which actually refer to the oil shortage, not an actual global cooling), but there was never a scientific basis for such claims.

    As for the change from "global warming" to "climate change", that was due to morons like yourself saying things like "it's warm because it's summer" and "I want it to be warmer" and such ignorance… The people who actually understand the science haven't change their views.

    5. You at least admit you ignorance here. Well done.

    6. The US currently spends more per capita on healthcare than any other developed nation and yet a large minority are not covered at all, and more face bankruptcy or death at the whims of a private company if they place profits above them. Truly, Obama is a monster for trying to get everybody healthcare, promote healthy living and make cheaper preventative care the norm.

    7. "most of those in the bottom 20% at the beginning of Reagan's term found themselves out of it by the end"

    Ah, moron maths, my favourite. If people were in the bottom 20% and made enough to get out of it, there will still be a bottom 20%. That 20% will also – by your definition – make less than the previous bottom 20% did. Meanwhile, more of the economy is provably in the hands of the top 1%, meaning that the other 99% have less to go around.

    That latter part is easily proven with evidence, btw, unlike your baseless assertions.

    8. "Look, either you believe life begins at conception, or that it begins at birth"

    Ah, the false dichotomy, another of my favourite moron tropes. I suppose it depends on how you define life, but if you start at conception with dividing cells, then the moron Christians trying to push that viewpoint will also have to protect cancer from being "aborted" – at that stage, there's little physical difference.

    Even so, how can you actually believe that life begins at conception? Cells and zygotes are spontaneously aborted by womens' bodies all the time – is your God and abortionist now? If not, why is it different when we do it, especially in cases of rape, incest, massive deformity or health issues that can kill both mother and baby?

    9. So, what's your definition of a True Scotsman, erm sorry, Jew?

    10. You may have missed it, but that was the Republican platform from 2001 – 2008 and a viewpoint still promoted by right wing media. Read more, it'll help you understand the morons around you, and perhaps stop you from being one in the process.

  5. 7. I could spend years debunking this one. Fact is that most of those in the bottom 20% at the beginning of Reagan's term found themselves out of it by the end. Reagan's economic program was extremely successful for people at the bottom of the economic ladder. What is intuitively obvious to us "morons" and supported by the empirical evidence, is, instead, still denied by those on the Left. Guess that makes you an economics-denier.

    You're kidding right. You must be a mathematics denier where if you change the rules of percentages somehow your bs point will make sense.

  6. Michael – yup. I could point out that the free market "paradises" of the US and UK were the ONLY developed countries that saw no fall in child poverty between 1980 and 2000 (according to UNICEF). All those countries that didn't dive into the Thatcher/Reagan experiment ended up with lower poverty over that 20-year period.

  7. Very nice, MW, you don't like the actual rise in the number of Muslims, so you change the statistic to "practicing" Muslims, something I'd call very difficult to measure.

    As for Bransby, yes, Mussolini and Obama have much in common. Who would you compare Obama to? FDR, perhaps?

    Michael Sky: The empirical evidence proves that those in the bottom 20% at the beginning of Reagan's term had more mobility into the upper quintiles of the economic ladder than during other 20th century presidents. I realize that a fact is difficult to comprehend in the face of your state-controlled media education, but, well, there's nothing I can do for you.

    BTW – my posts are NOT intended for committed Leftists, who are too bound to their ideology to engage in honest debate. I really don't care. Your lame arguments are proof that you have very little of substance to offer, just some potshots and stupidity.

    Keep it up, I enjoy it.

  8. Jay said: "Very nice, MW, you don't like the actual rise in the number of Muslims"

    Which "actual rise"? You fear-mongers continually bang the "Islamification" drum, but you have no stats to back you up (lucky for you most morons can't distinguish between fact and fiction)

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