Whatever Happened To Jesus?

Well folks, here we are: 22nd May 2011. The Second Coming was yesterday, according to the lying fraudulent moron Harold Camping. To be fair, as we go to press, it’s still 21st May in some parts of the world. But unless Jesus decides to appear in Hawaii any minute now, we can assume it’s not going to happen.

Us educated, enlightened people can have a good laugh if we choose (watch the hilarity unfold live on the #May21 Twitter hashtag), at the poor suckers who believed Camping and prepared for Jesus. You can imagine their shock and disappointment, even if they didn’t get rid of their worldly possessions or tell their boss to go fuck himself. But really it’s not so funny.

Camping, like anyone who makes money from selling God, Jesus, Heaven or The Rapture, is a fraud and a liar. He’s also a very wealthy man, who’s made tens of millions of dollars from selling false hope to the poor, the desperate and – let’s tell it how it is – the stupid.

He’s not the only bad guy here: the US education system, for example, could be expected to arm people against obvious nonsense like the Rapture fairy-tale. And the desperately unfair distribution of wealth in modern US society has left millions of people poor and desperate enough – within the world’s wealthiest society – to turn to this modern-day witch-doctery for help.

On the other hand… perhaps we shouldn’t be feeling too sorry for those who were hoping for the Second Coming yesterday. The Second Coming would have been Step One; Step Two being the Rapture on 21st October (again, according to Camping). The Rapture is a hateful piece of religious nonsense; it’s based on the End Of Days idea in 1 Thessalonians, with some 17th-century American modifications. The idea is that at the End Of Days, the righteous will literally rise up into the sky (naked, apparently) and ascend to heaven; while everyone else on Earth is condemned to burn in Hell for all eternity. If you follow some of these Armageddon types (as I have the pleasure of doing), you’ll realise that their anticipation isn’t just about rising to heaven; they’re equally excited about seeing us sinners (representing approximately 99% of the world’s population) stay behind and burn in hellfire. Which is hardly the kind of loving attitude Jesus was trying to encourage in his followers. So go on then, enjoy a moment of gloating. They would.

14 thoughts on “Whatever Happened To Jesus?”

  1. You may be educated and enlightened but you should have used "we" instead of "us" to start the second paragraph.

    Other than that, great post.

  2. Well said….and yeah…We for Us. LOL.

    Excellent to point out the hatred that is inherent in such fantasies.

  3. Yes, so many Americans bought into this fanaticist's bullshit. Really emblematic of US society. Guy's a nut, pretty much 99.99999999% of Americans see/saw that. Jesus.

    But, always nice to have a little fun at the colonial's expense.

  4. Last paragraph is spot-on, and that's exactly why I stopped worrying about these people. Many, if not most of them have a barey disguised desire to see everyone else burn for all eternity for… well, not being like them. That's religious hate at its worst.

  5. Yes Jay, it IS emblematic of US society that a crazy like this can raise $100m for advertising and attract global publicity. The polls show that whether or not Americans believe(d) this particular nut, tens of millions DO believe that the second coming will happen sometime.

  6. Even quite a lot of American Christians were mocking this man. I'm not sure it's emblematic of anything besides Barnum's Principle (a sucker born every day).

    It's fine to "poke fun at the colonial's" but frankly there are idiots all over the planet, stupidity is a universal ill. Pinning this as a purely American phenomenon is a little short-sighted. Doomsday cults have popped up on a regular basis for most of human history, and pre-date Christianity and the United States by centuries, it's nothing unique or new to the human condition.

  7. I'd posit that more than 10's of millions believe a second coming is going to occur "someday." Hard to be a Christian and not believe that.

    I get it, organized religion=bad. God knows there has been enough bad done in His name, but, a few billion people on this planet believe in some kind of deity and receive a lot of personal peace and comfort from that. I suppose it's not outside the realm of possibility that they're all wrong, but I think they may be on to something.

    As for Camping, it's unfair to characterize him as somehow walking off with $100M+. It's a scam, I grant you, but, most of his "worth" is in his FCC licenses.

    He's not living the life of a pauper, and, is a $10M scam less bad than a $100M scam?

    Someone has to defend the guy, he's just trying to make a living and he employs 350 people (which is roughly, oh, 349 more than Obama ever has) doing the work of the Lord.

  8. I tend to be of the general opinion that if there was a magic button to make religion disappear, humans would just find another excuse to treat each other crappily anyway.

    Nationalism, ethnic/cultural divisions, skin color, differing economic philosophies, which side you butter your bread on, etc etc etc…

    Pretty much any sort of emotionally-charged "flag" you can wave is going to get support. Trick people into believing they have a cause to die for, and well you can see the results written in blood across history.

    At least this guy just went for people's bank accounts and not their lives. Bad, sure, but there's been far worse.

    Of course I'm a professional cynic, so yea…

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