About six months ago, the US state of Oklahoma pioneered the banning of Sharia (Islamic) law. It’s not too clear why, since Muslims represent only about 0.4% of Oklahoma’s population, but given Oklahoma’s habit a century ago of hanging black men from trees, picking on defenseless minorities seems to be standard Oklahoman thinking. At least 13 states have now proposed such legislation, for no apparent reason other than the fear of minorities that seems to make up an important part of the white American psyche.
I wondered if there were other “useful” laws that Oklahoma should consider introducing, and here’s a selection, with thanks to some helpful people on Twitter.
- Ban Dragons – Big, scary and fire-breathing. A menace to all God-fearing Oklahomans.
- Ban Faster-than-light travel – it may be impossible, but do we really want to take the risk? (@ikonografer)
- Mandatory leashing of unicorns – have you seen the horns on those things? (@DanVerg)
- Gravity to remain between 9.7 and 9.9 meters-per-second-squared – do you want your weight to increase suddenly without warning? Me neither.
- Ban christian fundamentalism – proposed by @elizabethr1533 who is obviously a Muslim-loving Commie.
- Ban monsters under the bed – thank you to brother @cpoffers for this sensible idea.
- Ban Spiders were suggested by @seancourt, who obviously hasn’t thought about feasibility. Much easier to ban something that isn’t there.
- Black men to be banned from running for President – no, I didn’t think it could happen either. Does Oklahoma want to risk it happening a second time?
- Ban Gays – you mean they haven’t already?!?! (@mrrob88 and @jonrod1) – I should point out they were joking. I think.
- Alligators over 1 metre in length should be forbidden from keeping pet cats (@metalollie) – I don’t think you’re taking this exercise seriously.
- Bill Bertrand suggested on my Facebook page that False Raptures should be banned. Interesting idea, but far too sensible.
- Also on Facebook, Tziedel Tammas proposed Equal rights for Martians – that’s much better, though the prospect of Oklahomans voting in favour of equal rights for anything seems unlikely.
Feel free to add your own below.