Moron Alphabet: K-M


This is the latest in a series. See also:

K is for Kenya

Your average American moron only knows how to find countries that the US has bombed, because pretty much nowhere else will get the attention of Fox News. So Kenya hasn’t made it into the moron meme-pool until very recently. The East African country first sprang into existence (from the moron perspective) in 1998 when it was bombed (allegedly) by Osama bin Laden’s small terrorist group; not by “Al Qaida” though – this “global threat” wasn’t invented until 2001, when an enemy was needed in order to justify the “war on terror”.

Kenya is now most famous among a spectacularly moronic sect known as the birthers, for being the “probable” birthplace of Barack Obama. This extraordinary piece of wishful thinking comes about because if proven to have been born elsewhere, Obama would not qualify to stand as US president, and the “huge error” of inaugurating a black man as President could be undone (though of course, none of the people screaming about Obama’s ineligibility for the job is in any way racist!)

Birthers on Twitter continually scream that they want to see Obama’s birth certificate. The fact that it was posted online in 2008 doesn’t put them off at all, and nor does the fact that his birth was announced in Hawaiian newspapers in 1961. The latest high-profile moron to add his name to the birther calls is Donald Trump, who is making noises about a Presidential run in 2012, and making some extremely moronic statements in order to get media coverage. He’s been rewarded for this by regular appearances on Republican TV (sorry, I mean Fox News).

L is for Londonistan

Some words instantly brand their user as a moron, and Londonistan is one of these. It was apparently coined by French intelligence officials who were battling “Islamist” terrorists during the 1990s, and felt that British intelligence were being too soft (in fact France was a target of Algerian terrorists, due to its murderous activities in Algeria and because of the brutality with which racial minorities were being treated in France – but I digress).

The word was then adopted by Melanie Phillips, a far-right UK journalist, as the title of her book warning about the “Islamic threat”. Phillips is one of those people for whom Muslims can do nothing right while Israel can do nothing wrong; her journalism is also of the opinion-over-fact variety, and she will doubtless feature on this blog at greater length in future.

These days, the word is liberally thrown around by every Islamaphobic moron who has ever heard it, and is convinced that London has become a Shariah-run Caliphate and the entire UK will be next. The fact that I live in London, and have done my whole life, doesn’t deter random Europeans and Americans from telling me that I live in Londonistan, and if I haven’t noticed, I’m obviously stupid/a Muslim/a terrorist sympathiser. Now it’s true that there is a mosque within a minute of my home and that my area has a large Muslim community; it’s also true that my nearest 24-hour shop, where I buy haraam products like alcohol and bacon when I can’t be bothered to walk further, is run by Muslims. London is a largely secular place, and that includes the bulk of its Muslim community, many of whom enjoy a beer or a glass of wine with the rest of us.

I could also point out that London was never a victim of Islamist terror until our moron Prime Minister took us to a war in Iraq in March 2003. But as we know, morons much prefer hysterical myths to facts, and Londonistan is just one of many.

M is for Moron

Moron is my favourite word, as readers may have already noticed. I due use the term in a number of contexts, but I do try to apply it only when deserved. My usage includes the following cases:

  • People who tweet absurdly stupid things.
  • People who hate, publicly.
  • People who believe media stories, even when obviously made up.
  • Those who take their beliefs direct from highly biased sources like Fox News, without ever checking (learn to use Google, morons!)
  • Those who take part in the spread of lies (such as the birther lie) either believing them, or knowing they are false but spreading them anyway.
  • Religious people with particularly bizarre, strident or bigoted beliefs (despite being an atheist I don’t consider all believers to be “morons” – they have to have a special edge to qualify).
  • Politicians who lie. So basically: politicians.
  • Journalists who spread lies and myths either deliberately or through their own stupidity.
  • Members and supporters of particularly moronic groups.
  • And many more… I reserve the right to change my definition of moron whenever it suits me.

Zionist Terror: It’s Time To Stop

I doubt there’s anyone who didn’t hear about the murder of the family of Israeli settlers in the West Bank settlement of Itamar on 12th March. The global coverage was hard to avoid, and the condemnation was huge – even the UN Secretary General had something to say. The howls of rage from the Israeli and American Zionists resounded around the globe. And yet again, the Palestinian people learned that a single Israeli life is worth more than 100 of theirs.

The aftermath of the attack was predictable: while world leaders condemned the murders, Israeli settlers used them as an excuse to attack Palestinians while Israeli security forces turned a blind eye or even joined in. These revenge attacks – known as price tag attacks, are old news for Palestinians in the West Bank, who face terrorism from settlers on a regular basis. But this time, there’s little press coverage and no global “outrage” – only Israelis get that consideration.

The far-right Israeli government used the murders as an excuse to announce the building of hundreds of new, illegal, West Bank houses. This is Zionist mathematics: dead Jewish martyrs = more houses, more land, and a step closer to their goal of complete extermination of Palestinians in the West Bank.

The Israeli right called on pro-Palestinian campaigners to condemn the Itamar killings, as if they shared some blame in them; and as ever, they obliged. But it’s time to stop apologising. This was not simply the slaughter of innocent civilians. Let’s call it like it is:

  1. West Bank settlers aren’t civilians living in their own homes, but soldiers in a war to illegally steal land. They are armed, and they use their weapons often against Palestinian civilians.
  2. Yes, three children were killed, and they weren’t combatants; but what kind of maniac takes his children into a war zone? (Answer: a Zionist maniac who believes his violence is approved by God, who wants him to take the land.)
  3. People under illegal occupation have the legal right to take up arms against their occupiers under the Geneva Conventions. This applies to the Palestinian people, though the UN and world leaders seem to forget this simple point. In other words, Palestinians can remove settlers from their land, by force if necessary; settlers don’t have the right to shoot Palestinians or take their land. They only have the right to leave peacefully.
  4. The terror will end when the Zionists choose for it to end; but since they believe they’re doing the work of God, they’ll never voluntarily stop. It’s up to Israel to withdraw all settlers from the West Bank.

So next time settlers are killed in the West Bank, it’s not for supporters of the Palestinian cause to apologise: just ask why they were there and point out that this war is of their making. The Zionists can end the war whenever they want; the Palestinians can’t.