Happy St George’s Day!

Happy St. George’s Day! Today is the day when the English celebrate their patron saint, party and have fun.

Ha! Only joking… this is the English we’re talking about. Rather than enjoy themselves like most nations on their national day, this is the day for doing what the English do best: moaning. The atmosphere isn’t helped by the right-wing media (notably the Mail and the Express) and far-right provocateurs from the English Defence League (EDL) and British National Party (BNP) spreading lies and disinformation. “Patriotic” bloggers will predictably complain that flag-flying has been banned by some council or other (almost always based on false stories) or just whine that English people should be flying the flag, but aren’t.

Twitter has already seen many tweets like this:

The end result is that English morons spend the day complaining they’re not allowed to fly a flag of St. George (which of course they are) or some other piece of nonsense they read in the gutter press or on Twitter.

Part of the problem is that the flag of St. George has been seized by far-right racist groups; which is ironic, given that St. George wasn’t English (he was a Roman soldier from Palestine), and that he’s the patron saint of many countries and regions besides England (including Ethiopia, Serbia and Catalonia). Most horrific of all (at least from the viewpoint of the Muslim-hating EDL) is that St. George is celebrated as a Saint in early Islamic texts. Irony – don’t you just love it?

Aside from the irritating minority of “patriots”, England has much to be proud of: our tolerance, our sense of humour; our green and pleasant landscape; even some of our unfairly-maligned food. Despite our imperial transgressions, we led the world in abolishing slavery; and most of us believe in fairness for all.

So here’s the MoronWatch guide to enjoying St. George’s Day.


  • Celebrate everything good about England.
  • Fly the flag if you want to, or wear a badge or plastic hat with the flag on. Go on, it’s fine.
  • Have fun! Another thing the English are good at (besides moaning) is drinking. So go on, fill your boots!
  • Sing Eng-er-land, Eng-er-land, Eng-er-land loudly and out of tune outside the pub.


  • Say “Why aren’t you flying a flag you Paki bastard?” to your Brazilian neighbour.
  • Use your flagpole to assault someone when you’re drunk.
  • And for-fuck’s-sake DON’T MOAN!

Have a nice day now!

3 thoughts on “Happy St George’s Day!”

  1. ….'Part of the problem is that the flag of St. George has been seized by far-right racist groups'….. It hasn't other than by the EDL – so that's just one group then. Also, if that's the criteria, the other flags of the home nations have also been 'seized' – the Saltire (SDL), the Welsh Dragon (WDL) and the Red Hand of Ulster (Various loyalist organisations). The BNP fly the Butcher's Apron – they even have it PhotoShopped into their logo.. So if there was ever a flag which needed to be 'reclaimed' from the far right, it's the Union flag. (BTW, they do indeed fly the St George's flag on marches – but it is always alongside the Saltire, Dragon and Red Hand).

    '..which is ironic, given that St. George wasn't English..'….. Irony, really? I and millions upon millions of other English people celebrate our saint's day without considering how ironic or otherwise it all is. The saint was chosen in the first place because of his bravery and refusal to betray his beliefs – and he paid for it with his life. Also, you'll no doubt see the 'irony' of the Irish, celebrating St Patrick's Day even though he wasn't Irish but was born on the Cumbrian coast – and St Andrew, Scotland's patron saint who was a fisherman born on the shores of the Sea of Gallillee.

    'Despite our imperial transgressions….' Really? What imperial transgressions are those then? If you are referring to England then we were no worse than the Normans, French, Vikings, Gaels or indeed the Scots who actually invaded England more than the other way around. Or are you talking about the Empire – that's the BRITISH Empire and not the English Empire…

    1. The English Defence League is by far the largest far right formation in the UK and many of its splinter groups such as NE and NW Infidels use the St. George Cross, as do the English Democrats (for whom there is considerable overlap with EDL mouthpiece party, British Freedom… who also use it).

      As for imperial transgressions, yes, he just might be talking. England being the country that profited from the blood of black slaves and the lawless invasion and colonisation of foreign lands. If you seriously expect everybody else in the world to be okay with that, then you’re an even bigger jingoist moron than you appear in the first paragraph.

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