Sometimes I wonder why I (and many others) spend so much time trying to argue against completely fact-free “facts”. I research, find high-quality sources and provide links, only to be told that the New York Times is dangerous left-wing propaganda, or that Wikipedia is all made up. So if we can’t beat them, let’s join them. Counter moronic made-up facts with your own. Learn from the morons – here’s how they do it:
- Make something up (if you can’t, then repeat something you heard from another moron).
- Write a blog article about it. Make sure you link to “sources” – in other words, blogs carrying the same myth.
- Tweet the crap out of it. If you’re really lucky, some crazy Fox pundit will pick up your fairy-tale and it’ll go global.
Here are ten completely made-up facts to get you started (just link to this post as a “credible source” if you decide to blog them).
- Glenn Beck is not American-born. He’s actually a mid-ranking SS Captain from Nazi Germany who was cryogenically frozen as part of a CIA experiment.
- George W Bush and Dick Cheney conducted a passionate gay relationship throughout the Iraq War, and so failed to focus on its aftermath.
- The far-right English Defence League (EDL) refuses membership to anybody who can spell.
- Sarah Palin is trying to suppress a doggy-sex movie she made at college.
- The Tea Party is a front for militant homosexuals who want smaller government so there’s nobody to stop them from turning all American children gay.
- Extreme Zionist settlers in the West Bank don’t have penises. They believe that when the last Palestinian is killed, God will return their genitals.
- Rupert Murdoch’s TV and newspaper interests are part of an extremist right-wing plot to reduce the world’s average IQ by 20 points (actually, this one might be true).
- UK Prime Minister David Cameron is Osama bin Laden.
- Koch Industries’ oil is actually made from aborted fetuses.
- Ronald Reagan and Pol Pot were best friends.
Over to you – feel free to post your own ideas below.