Ten Completely Made Up “Facts”

Sometimes I wonder why I (and many others) spend so much time trying to argue against completely fact-free “facts”. I research, find high-quality sources and provide links, only to be told that the New York Times is dangerous left-wing propaganda, or that Wikipedia is all made up. So if we can’t beat them, let’s join them. Counter moronic made-up facts with your own. Learn from the morons – here’s how they do it:

  • Make something up (if you can’t, then repeat something you heard from another moron).
  • Write a blog article about it. Make sure you link to “sources” – in other words, blogs carrying the same myth.
  • Tweet the crap out of it. If you’re really lucky, some crazy Fox pundit will pick up your fairy-tale and it’ll go global.

Here are ten completely made-up facts to get you started (just link to this post as a “credible source” if you decide to blog them).

  1. Glenn Beck is not American-born. He’s actually a mid-ranking SS Captain from Nazi Germany who was cryogenically frozen as part of a CIA experiment.
  2. George W Bush and Dick Cheney conducted a passionate gay relationship throughout the Iraq War, and so failed to focus on its aftermath.
  3. The far-right English Defence League (EDL) refuses membership to anybody who can spell.
  4. Sarah Palin is trying to suppress a doggy-sex movie she made at college.
  5. The Tea Party is a front for militant homosexuals who want smaller government so there’s nobody to stop them from turning all American children gay.
  6. Extreme Zionist settlers in the West Bank don’t have penises. They believe that when the last Palestinian is killed, God will return their genitals.
  7. Rupert Murdoch’s TV and newspaper interests are part of an extremist right-wing plot to reduce the world’s average IQ by 20 points (actually, this one might be true).
  8. UK Prime Minister David Cameron is Osama bin Laden.
  9. Koch Industries’ oil is actually made from aborted fetuses.
  10. Ronald Reagan and Pol Pot were best friends.

Over to you – feel free to post your own ideas below.

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